The feeling of renewal during a deep, filling inhale
Then you hold it.
Time is suspended in that moment, in that pause.
Anything is possible then.
When you take a breath with an intention to truly be present in it. Before a big presentation, during a yoga pose or transition, when you’re in a scary situation, when you’re waiting to hear the results of something, when you’re talking yourself off a ledge, when your mind has gone off in 50 directions, taking your sanity with it.
During that moment between inhale and exhale, you could be anyone, anywhere, about to do anything. Time doesn’t exist in the pause. In that pause, you’re experiencing infinity.
A mini, prelude of death-between what was, all up until that moment- to what is to come, whether it is good or bad.
And that’s what death is isn’t it? It’s becoming one with infinity and whether you believe in something more or not, death is something that once you experience, you experience it for infinity (if you ignore those 1 in a trillion cases of people who have or have claimed to die and come back.). Life is not infinity-it’s the opposite of course. it’s finite. No inhale is ever guaranteed to be met by another, and an exhale is the very last thing we are allowed to do before we meet that infinity.
An inhale is a [re]birth. The first thing we do when we enter this world. And of course it’s not supposed to be easy. No one comes here happy to be here. We come here crying. When have you ever seen a baby born laughing? But here we are, and here we keep breathing, breathing and breathing on.
A cycle of breath is to experience life death and rebirth. That “pause” between an inhale and an exhale is a chance to experience something new. A new start a fresh beginning. You are never the same from one moment to another. With each brain comes a new thought, a new brain cell used, a new neuron firing off. You are not who you were before you took that last breath of yours. You are new, even if in the most microscopic way.
Whenever my anxiety puts my brain in a choke hold and I feel myself struggling to breath, to think, to survive- a deep breath always re-centers me. Or maybe 2 or 3. Or 10. But regardless, with each exhale, when I feel that stress melting away, I want to look at it as a new cycle of life. Sure, my day may be uneventful from then on, or my life may continue to feel mundane and boring, but when you come back from the brink of a panic attack, you’ve just one a victorious battle! You’ve gotten you breath back! And though those deep, calming breaths you’ve experienced infinity, death, and rebirth!
That feeling of renewal right before a deep, cleansing, emptying exhale. Rejoice, you are victorious. You’ve made it to the other side of whatever was happening before that cycle of breath.
You are new. You are stronger. You are surviving.